世界杯期间 我为妻子拟定的11条和平相处铁律

　　My Dear Wife,

　　The FIFA World cup is around the corner, so let me give you a few rules that will help us during the months of June and July:

　　1. The Television set's remote control belongs to me for the whole month.

　　2. You should not walk in front of TV whenever I am watching any match, you better freeze where you are or crawl on the floor.

　　3. You must support the same team I support.

　　4. No talking during the games, wait until Half-time or end of the game.

　　5. Repeats and match Highlights are as good as live matches, So I will watch them too.

　　6. We can see movies/home videos provided actors and actresses are wearing soccer jerseys and they are in Brazil.

　　7. Tell all your friends not to give birth or get married during the World Cup because we won't have time to attend their ceremonies.

　　8. Make sure you don't ask silly questions such as; is that Chelsea versus China? (Chelsea is a football club in England and China is not participating in this year's world cup finals) .

　　9. No funny faces to my friends whenever they come to watch matches with me.

　　10. Smile every time EXCEPT when my team is losing ...hope you get me clear?

　　11. Your baby must not cry during any match , it's better you drugged him or her with Breast milk.

　　致亲爱的妻子，

　　世界杯在即，为了在六月和七月能友好相处，请允许我与您约法三章。

　　1.电视遥控器归我掌控一个月。

　　2.我看比赛的时候请不要挡住我的视线，或者站立不动，或者趴在地板上。

　　3.请务必和我支持同一球队。

　　4.比赛期间请保持安静，有话请等到中场休息或者比赛结束。

　　5.重播和精彩瞬间与现场直播同等重要，我也不能错过。

　　6.如果男演员和女演员穿着球衣，故事也发生在巴西，看看他们演的电影或者家庭录像也是可以的。

　　7.通知你的朋友们，世界杯期间不要结婚生子，因为我们没有时间参加典礼。

　　8.请保证不要问我以下愚蠢问题：这是切尔西对中国的比赛么？（切尔西是英国的足球俱乐部，而中国并没有进入这次世界杯决赛圈。）

　　9.我的朋友们来家里和我一起看球的时候不要闹笑话。

　　10.除了我支持的球队输球的时候，你想怎么笑都可以……我说清楚了么？

　　11.比赛期间保证孩子不要哭闹，哭的时候就给他喂奶。